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  • Charmaine Sheen

Your Why?

Self-love & the pursuit of happiness during Women’s Month.


Information overload – happiness is different for women and men!

Research reckons women process emotions differently to men; they (we) are also more likely to experience more intense positive emotions. Hello, we’re socialized differently. Women are “raised” to be caregivers and to express warmth, men are the defenders and breadwinners of the (traditional, nuclear) family.

So, what are we saying? Perhaps women prioritize doing the right thing over being happy?

I’m not going to debate the issue of male versus female happiness.

In the spirit of the 8th August (women’s day in South Africa), I’ll share what I believe to be an essential self-love tool. A question to ask yourself during your pursuit of happiness (irrespective of whether you are a man or woman).

What is your WHY?

There is no such thing as selfishness when it comes to your goals.

Your values and goals are intertwined. Your ideals, what is important to you, will determine what makes you happy and how you experience the emotion of happiness (more so than whether you are male and female).

It’s also going to shape the short and long term goals you set for yourself. A lack of clarity of what you value, or how this translates into goals, makes life confusing.

I mean, you’ll have no sense of direction! So how do you know if you are happy? What is your baseline?

The root of self-love is self-discovery. Spend time with yourself, seek out some exercises that probe and help you to explore what is essential to you. What do you value?

Give yourself a little space and time for self-discovery (self-love), and you’ll be surprised at how you begin to define happiness and your pursuit thereof.

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