Yuck, this mom guilt thing is real. And no matter how hard you try to suppress the guilty feelings, they keep popping up. Irrespective of whether the kids are 2, 10 or 25.
Mom guilt refers to those nasty little emotions when we experience when we feel like we’re failing or falling short of the expectations surrounding what a mom should be.
Easier said than done, but we’ve really got to learn to let it go! Meaningful conversations with my mom friends, work colleagues and therapist have taught me:
Quality over Quantity
You can be physically present with your kids, but not actually present. I make a concerted effort to disengage from work when I get home from the office, my kids have my undivided attention until they go to bed. I’ve also declared weekends as work-free downtime. The older my kids get, the more me-time this means for me – but ultimately, the purpose is to unwind and spend quality time with the family.
I’m strict on allocating this time to my kids. Sometimes business meetings run late, customer dinners dominate, and rugby games are missed. But it’s ok because the time I am spending with them is meaningful and I’m engaged.
Mom’s are human too
Seriously we are. We’re allowed to make mistakes – to forget things, lose it in the heat of the moment, jump to conclusions. The beauty of being human is that we can apologize. Someone once told me that parents aren’t supposed to be perfect – our little hiccups and faux par’s help our children to learn from their own mistakes and forgive the essential people in their lives.
Made a mistake? Own it. Apologize. Fix it. And let it go!
Take the compliments
Suck it up and take the compliment. When someone says, you are doing a good job, that you are a good mom and that your kids are lucky to have you. Stop looking at all the things you think you are doing wrong and say thank you! Moms don’t lie to other moms.